As I Was Saying is a forum for a variety of perspectives to foster faith-related conversations among our readers with the goal of mutual learning, even in disagreement. Apart from articles written by editorial staff, these perspectives do not necessarily reflect the views of The Banner.
My dad had some of the most annoying habits. Most notably, he was the loudest chewer in the world. The walls rattled anytime he ate crunchy food. To my surprise, my kids have complained that I have the same problem. The other day, I was minding my business while eating some snacks, and my kids exclaimed, “Dad, you are chewing so loud!”
I furrowed my brow and raised my finger, prepared to lecture them about the loudest chewer on the planet: their grandfather. But before I could get a word out, I looked down and noticed New Balance shoes on my feet. And shorts ending far above the knee. I reached upward to scratch my head and realized my hair was receding.
A change was taking place. I was becoming my father. Insurance companies make commercials about people like me.
Imitation is Inescapable
We cannot help imitating those around us. From accents and food preferences to spending habits and character traits, we become like those around us.
But how would you feel if a leader in your life insisted that you imitate them?
You would probably consider them arrogant. You would dismiss them and their haughty flex. Nobody declares outright such statements as “pattern your life after mine” or “do all the things you see me do” or “imitate me.” And yet, the Apostle Paul frequently instructs others to imitate him.
- “Imitate me, just as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1).
- “I urge you to imitate me … how I follow Christ Jesus” (1 Cor. 4:16–17).
- “Pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example” (Phil. 3:17).
- “Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing” (Phil. 4:9).
- “Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me” (2 Tim. 1:13).
- “For you know that you ought to imitate us. … We wanted to give you an example to follow.” (2 Thess. 3:7, 9).
- “Dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to live as I do” (Gal. 4:12).
- “You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord” (1 Thess. 1:5–6).
Was Paul a Narcissist?
Paul considered imitation to be a key piece of the discipleship process. For the following three reasons, I view Paul as a master of discipleship and not a narcissist.
1. Paul was balanced.
If you study his letters, you’ll find that he is very honest about his faults. He considers himself “the chief of sinners” (1 Tim. 1:15) and the “scum of the earth” (1 Cor. 4:15). Pair these self-reflections with his teaching on imitation, and we recognize that Paul is trying to teach a balance between two extremes: pride and excessive humility. He neither inflated his self-image, nor shirked the responsibilities of a role model.
A few years ago, I sat in a room full of church elders. One of them asked the group, “Do you guys ever feel unqualified to be spiritual leaders over this church?” Almost every hand in the room went up. These were some of the godliest people I knew! I took note of this experience and concluded that balanced humility is the best recipe for godly imitation.
2. Paul had reasonable expectations.
Paul was one of the original apostles, the founders and pillars of Christianity. He was a missionary, in charge of launching new churches and establishing leaders. It was a foundational expectation that he function as a model for following Jesus in his age.
In our culture, it is taboo to boldly ask others to follow our example. We applaud humility and self-deprecation. Yet we also need to expect leaders to live worthy of imitation. To neglect imitation stunts the growth of the church.
3. Paul understood the significance of imitation.
Leading a sustainable ministry was only possible because Paul practiced the art of imitation. Paul personally followed Gamaliel, Barnabas, Priscilla, and Aquila. He mentored Timothy, Titus, Lydia, Epaphroditus, Phoebe, and others who became the first missionaries, pastors, and church planters. He exhorted believers to follow the example of spiritual leaders and charged those leaders to be good examples (see 1 Tim. 4:12; Titus 2:7).
“Imitation is simply inescapable. From birth to adulthood, imitation drives our behavior and beliefs. Peer pressure, the herd mentality, word of mouth, and other social factors and processes create fresh plausibility structures that facilitate experimentation with drugs, religion, facial hair, sushi, and new television programs. We rarely adopt a child, try a new diet, or engage in fasting and prayer unless exemplars model these actions and the mindsets that make the actions possible. We keep up with the Joneses, sometimes with reckless abandon, sometimes almost subconsciously duplicating their patterns of speech, consumption, dress, and recreation. … We are all imitators, shaped in a thousand ways by what we see and hear around us.”
– Jason Hood, Imitating God in Christ, p. 13
This is Intimidating
Me? A role model? You might not feel comfortable modeling Christlikeness right now, but please do not stay there. We need mature Christian role models and mentors. And Paul’s expectation was for all of us to grow in maturity until we are imitable.
If you feel unqualified or unprepared, that is OK. But answer this: What would it take for you to get there? If there is a step you need to take first, take it. If you need to be discipled first, find someone to disciple you. If you need to deal with sin in your life first, do business with God (repent, initiate change, and seek healing).
My wife teases me every time I visit my hometown in North Carolina.
I come back with a slow drawl in my voice. The ballcaps come out. I start using Southern vernacular such as “yonder” and “pull the door to.” Yet she is just as bad. Whenever she gets off the phone with her Wisconsin mother, the accent lingers for half an hour. Every other word out of her mouth is “Owp!” or “Don’cha know?” More seriously, I hope there are positive habits I have learned from my upbringing. Like keeping my word after a handshake and the value of a hard day’s work.
Paul praised the believers in Thessalonica for two actions: “You became imitators of us … so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia” (1 Thess. 1:6–7).
We all need someone to look up to.
We all need someone to look out for.