As I Was Saying is a forum for a variety of perspectives to foster faith-related conversations among our readers with the goal of mutual learning, even in disagreement. Apart from articles written by editorial staff, these perspectives do not necessarily reflect the views of The Banner.
“What did I get myself into?” A while ago somebody from your church council reached out and said you’d been nominated as an elder. They asked you to give it some thought and to pray about it, and when they got back to you a few days later, you said, “Yes.” Maybe you said it enthusiastically, maybe you said it hesitantly, but you said, “Yes,” and whether by vote, lot, or affirmation, you got in.
At your installation you realized, perhaps in a new way, what a serious task this is. You don’t remember the whole charge, but certain phrases stand out: “Guard yourselves and the flock.” … “Be an example to the children.” … “Encourage the youth.” … “Bear up people in their weakness.” … “Support the pastor.” … “Be compassionate yet firm.” … “Pray continually.”
And now you’re asking yourself, “How can anyone do this?” Or perhaps more to the point, “How am I supposed to do this?”
As a pastor who has served alongside many first-time officebearers, I’d like to offer some thoughts. I’m writing it with elders especially in mind, but much of what I say will apply to deacons and others in leadership as well.
First, with regard to your attitude, remember that you both are and are not a volunteer. This is not how you make your living, and you have other responsibilities, including your career and your family. So in that sense, you are a volunteer. The time and energy you can give to this is limited. If you set an unrealistic expectation of yourself you will quickly become discouraged.
But in a deeper sense, you are not a volunteer. You are one who was called and chosen for this job by God and the congregation. And you said, “Yes.” So set reasonable expectations for yourself, commit to doing your best, and trust that the God who called you to this office will see you through your term.
My second piece of advice is connected to the first. Don’t just commit to a goal. Commit to a strategy. For example, you might be asking how you are going to connect with those under your care. It’s a central part of the role of elder. And it can be daunting.
It becomes a little less daunting once you have a game plan. And there are different ways to do this faithfully. I served with an elder that set aside two evenings a week in the month of October, made two visits each of those evenings, and came to the November consistory meeting with 80% of his visits done. I know another elder who often has long commutes into job sites. He plugged his entire district into a contact list on his phone and used the drive time to phone those within his care. I’ve seen a couple shepherd very effectively by inviting couples or small groups of people into their homes Sunday after church and connecting with them that way. One youth elder who owned a fishing boat took the young men under his care onto Lake Erie two or three at a time and discipled them while they fished. My point is, there are lots of ways to connect. And there are pros and cons to each strategy. But any strategy is better than no strategy. The elders that tend to struggle with this the most are the ones who don’t commit to a plan or strategy. As the months go by, they get discouraged.
Third, find a mentor. A mentor is just someone with some experience you can go to for some advice or guidance. It can be someone you’re currently serving with, but it can sometimes be just as good, sometimes better, to find someone not currently serving, or even someone serving in another congregation. You just want someone you can go to as a sounding board and someone who will check in and encourage you from time to time.
Fourth, be the thermostat, not the thermometer. The thermometer reads the temperature, but the thermostat sets it. Church can be an anxious place these days. Maybe attendance is down, or you’re without a pastor and the search committee isn’t having much luck, or there are barely enough kids to justify a nursery schedule. And all of that was true before the upheaval in our denomination these past few years. It’s understandable to be anxious. But when leadership radiates that anxiety, the anxiety multiplies.
Instead, be the thermostat. As much as possible, be upbeat and positive about the church. I’m not telling you to bury your head in the sand or to be in denial about the challenges the congregation is facing. They need to be acknowledged. But we never want to lead out of fear. We lead out of faith that God is moving, even in challenging times. Remember that both fear and hope are contagious. When leadership is positive and hopeful, that sets the temperature for the rest of the body.
Fifth, find your voice in the meeting room, then speak with one voice outside of it. It’s often wise, especially in the first few months of your first term, to listen more than you talk and to understand the history of the things discussed before speaking on them. At the same time, fresh eyes can be a blessing. God chose you to be there and to contribute. So if you have thoughts, share them. If you have questions, ask them. If you have something to contribute, get it out there.
But at some point, discussion has to end and a decision needs to be made. When that happens, whether it went the way you thought it should or not, it’s very important that the council speaks with one voice, especially when the decision was not unanimous and when some will be unhappy with it. When people in leadership criticize or second-guess leadership’s decisions, the congregation almost always follows suit. Learn to say “council felt” or “council decided,” rather than, “I felt, but—.” Trust that God is working, even when it didn’t go your way.
Lastly, lean on the One who called you. We are weak, but he is strong. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. May you run and not grow weary. May you walk and not be faint.