If forgiving others is a heavy cross to bear for many, should forgiveness be preached sternly?
Forgiveness can present a significant challenge in the life of a Christian. When we are hurt by others, our initial response is often to focus on the pain we are feeling or to express anger toward the person or people who harmed us. As a result, it can be difficult for us to extend forgiveness.
Jesus recognized this reality and had a lot to say about forgiveness. In Matthew 18, Peter approaches Jesus and asks him for a numerical limit on the number of times he is required to forgive a person. Some rabbis taught that the total was three, so Peter might have believed that his suggestion of seven seemed generous. Jesus, however, gave him a total that seemed immeasurable and well beyond the amount Peter had offered.
When teaching on prayer, Jesus incorporated forgiveness into what we know as The Lord’s Prayer. In Matthew 6, Jesus assumes that his followers will seek God’s forgiveness only after they have forgiven those who have sinned against them. Luke’s gospel also records Jesus telling his disciples that offering forgiveness to others is a necessary first step in asking God to forgive our sins and shortcomings.
Jesus didn’t tell his followers to forgive others only if their total number of offenses was below a specific number or if the person who offended them demonstrated an appropriate amount of remorse. Jesus’ teachings recognize that if left to ourselves our inclination might often be to withhold forgiveness, so he makes it a command.
This teaching, however, should not be received as a rigid or repressive requirement. Instead, Jesus’ command is meant to provide healing and hope for us when we are hurt by others. How can that be? The reality is that through offering forgiveness to others, we become more aware of our own need to be forgiven by others. In following Christ’s command, we become more aware of the grace God has extended to us.
When viewed in this light, rather than presenting forgiveness in a stern or authoritative manner, Christians can experience Jesus’ teaching as a life-giving, grace-filled opportunity for the person offering and the person receiving forgiveness.