The invitation floated into my social media inbox, evoking the same feelings as beautifully inked, ribbon-tied stationery.
Titled The Aunties + Maddie, the invitation came from my almost 12-year-old niece, Maddie, who lives across the country; she had created a chat group to connect with her five aunts, spread across Alberta, Texas, and Ontario. While the aunts don’t all know each other, being from differing sides of Maddie’s family, our commonality is our deep, shared love of this young girl.
It’s been delightful. Maddie tells us about her day’s happenings, and we aunties text her back with words of love and encouragement. Last night’s text was, “I landed a front handspring and knee front flip and a regular front flip and that was the first time I’ve ever done it!!!” We all responded with cheers that would make Cinderella’s adoring mice friends proud.
“We all need an aunties Facebook group,” I commented to a friend this morning. “Just think how wonderful it must be to have all these older women loving on you and cheering you on in life.”
It’s something, I think, that many of us yearn for: mentorship, encouragement, cheerleaders we can turn to as we walk through the challenges and blessings of our days.
And yet these kinds of close relationships can be hard to find in our increasingly busy world, where our noses are ever more glued to screens and families are divided. Isolation and loneliness seem so much more prevalent than in prior generations.
When we do build connections, there can be such a huge pull toward putting forth only our best faces. This, too, leads to isolation. Who is there to turn to in those times you cannot put forward your best, when you need to be heard and loved for who you are and where you’re at?
I think of all the days when I don’t really know what exactly to do. I know challenge intimately, having lived with physical and communication disabilities and a very severe form of chronic pain for decades. Too, my journey in adopting and parenting highly traumatized young people with complex disabilities is complicated. There are many hard days.
How I yearn for mentors who have gone on a similar path before me to turn to on those days when my pain is high, movement is hard, and one of my kids is struggling immensely.
What a difference encouragement would make on the morning I get yet another email from one of my teenagers’ teachers about autism-related challenges that are making functioning at school extremely hard. Or on the days when I feel my nervous system jolt into overdrive because I just heard the news that one of my now-adult kids is facing another apartment eviction, and homelessness could be on the horizon again.
It has raised an awareness in me of how important genuine community is—how critical it is that we walk alongside each other. I see clearly why the Apostle Paul felt it so vital that the community of believers “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thess. 5:11).
This encouragement includes rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep (Rom. 12:15). It involves carrying each other’s burdens, something Paul described as ‘fulfilling the law of Christ’ (Gal. 6:2 ESV).
Indeed, encouragement of one another is a holy work. Our Father created us to need each other and walk through life together. Encouragement is one way God gives strength to his weary people.
We can do this by reaching out to those in our neighborhoods, church communities, and extended families, building intergenerational friendships with love as our guide (Eph. 5:2). We can open our eyes and hearts to those around us who may be struggling—who yearn for connection and encouragement. We can share coffee, pie, and our full attention with those who need a listening ear.
We can show our real selves—the parts of us that are messy, imperfect, and maybe even struggling—instead of yielding to the cultural push to only show perfection. How different things might be if we allowed one another into our real lives more easily, letting people get to know our true selves.
I think this is why Maddie’s chat group has touched me so deeply. This young girl gathered five women around herself almost instinctively, creating a loving circle of encouragement stretching over two countries. Isn’t this what we all long for—to be known, cheered on, and met with love?
Last night, an almost 12-year-old girl landed her first front flip and immediately told her aunties. There is profound beauty in that.